


Where Did it Go Wrong

by VividDayDreamer



Series: Prompts and Challenges (Supergirl 2015) [28]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AgentCorp, Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Falling Out of Love, Family, Fictober 2019, Life Choices, Prompt 20, Questionable outcomes, Tumblr Prompt, struggling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-22 16:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividDayDreamer/pseuds/VividDayDreamer
Summary: When Alex met Lena, and they started dating, Alex felt like world was spinning.When Alex proposed to Lena and she said yes, Alex felt like the luckiest woman in the world.When Alex and Lena decided to have a child, Alex had her entire world.But when Alex starts to fall out of love.... that world starts to shatter.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Prompts and Challenges (Supergirl 2015) [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1356811
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	Where Did it Go Wrong

**Author's Note:**

>   

> 
> Challenge Details: 
>   * Challenge Name: [Fictober 2019](https://fictober-event.tumblr.com)
>   * Relationship: AgentCorp
>   * Prompt: "You could talk about it, you know?"
> 
>   

> 
> **Note: Angsty, with a questionable ending.**
> 
>   

> 
> **Prompt me if you'd like to play! You can find my prompts and rules on my [Tumblr](https://dreamsescapeus.tumblr.com/).**
> 
>   


  


Alex sat in her 'cave', a room tucked away in the far corner of her home. She comes here a lot these days. A place all of her own, away from everyone else, where she can think, drink, and mull over life's troubles. Like now. She's on her sofa, leaned back against the leathery cushions with a drink in one hand, and the other tucked behind her neck as she gazed up into the stark white ceiling above her. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and starts thinking about where it all went wrong and how it's dragged on for this long. Never in a million years, would she have thought that she and Lena would grow apart.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she opens her eyes and subconsciously turns her head to the left; her eyes landing on a family portrait that hung nicely above the mantle of the gas fireplace. It's her, Lena, and their baby girl, Casey. It was a candid shot, taken by Kara one day in the park, a few days after Casey's third birthday. They were laughing with wide, genuine smiles that spoke of the perfect happiness; a loving family. Alex smiled faintly at the memory. And though Casey was now eight years old, she remembers that day as vivid as that image. 

She remembered how Lena had suggested that they go out and enjoy that sunny morning, straight after breakfast, and recalled the details of it too. She was cleaning up the table, stacking up the dishes after a smorgasbord of pancakes and eggs, when Lena came up behind her, slipping soft and familiar arms around her torso in an embrace she always melted into. There was a fire that blossomed from deep within her chest and sent sparks through her core. It was a silent way for their hearts to say, 'I love you', without whispering a word; timed heartbeats that felt in sync, as the throbbing that pounded within, when bound so close, could never be distinct enough to determine whose they belonged to. And it was that warm closeness of Lena's feminine body pressed behind her, curves that tucked in the right places, a softness of flesh that moulded to her body perfectly, that left her feeling secure and lucky — So. Damn. Lucky. 

She was Lena's and Lena was hers.

On the way to the park, Alex carried Casey, securing her left arm under her baby's rump, her hip jutted to the side to support her daughter's weight. Casey's little hands were grasping at Alex's head, with fingers that splayed across her face, dangerously close to poking her eyes. Alex chuckled as she bounced Casey up and down, teasing her about her grabby little paws that now purposefully tried to squeeze her nose and cover her eyes, since the little girl now thought it was a game. Lena chuckled beside them, her left hand clasped into Alex's right. Slender fingers entwined together like they've done so many times before. It was habit at this point; a way for them to always remain always connected. And sometimes, when Lena was feeling especially affectionate, she'd squeeze her fingers tighter with Alex's and let her thumb rub back and forth along the side of Alex's knuckle, reminding Alex of how much she loved her.

Alex never felt so lucky.

When they'd gotten to their destination — a small play area surrounded by grass, complete with a structure containing a swing set, a few slides and an elevated platform for children to climb on — Kara was already there waiting. She was always excited to see her niece — a fact that was beneficial for the couple, because Alex always looked forward to having some time to spend with her wife. Long work days and busy schedules kept them apart, and the needs of a toddler brought about the difficulties of finding time together. Now, with Kara there, Alex bent low to the ground, allowing little Casey to run gleefully towards her aunt, with a skip in her step and little arms flailing about. There was a high-pitched squeal that followed, as she ran into her open arms. Kara then lifted her up with ease and spun her around, ending in a tight hug that gave way to huge smiles that reflected one another's.

Alex and Lena barely got a wave in, before Casey urged Kara to go play on the jungle gym. After a few exchange of words, Kara took off with Casey, while Alex tugged on their joined hands, and headed towards a nearby bench. When they sat down, Lena instinctively inched close. Alex let go of her fingers and raised her arm above Lena's head, landing on the edge of the bench's backrest, opening her chest up to allow Lena to lean into her, like they've always done; fitting together like puzzle pieces, with their bodies falling into a routine consisting of the proper placement of limbs and shoulders and heads. Alex remembered tilting her head to press against Lena's, turning once to place a soft kiss across her dark, silk-like hair that carried a subtle scent of rosemary and mint.

  


"I love you, Lee."

"I love you too, darling."

  


Their whispered confessions were overpowered by the shrieks of laughter by their daughter, running around as Kara tried to chase her. They relaxed at the sight, the energy expended from the two, tired out the couple just by looking, but they took in that moment nonetheless. The sun kept warming their skin on that fall day, and the air smelt crisp of falling leaves and grass, mixed in with a hint of moisture from the morning dew.

It was perfect.

An hour passes easily before it's time to head back. Alex stands first, turning towards Lena and offering an open hand; palm turned upwards. Lena takes it happily, smiling as she does so, before standing and leaning in towards Alex. The motion is memorized: there was the ideal distance needed to prevent the accidental stepping of toes, or bumping faces. It was the way Lena shifted her weight forward, knowing that Alex's strong frame could accommodate and support her weight. It was the how their hands slipped apart, moving to anchor to their proper positions: Alex's hands on the curve of Lena's hips and Lena's arms crossed loosely around Alex's neck. It was the execution of compound movements, of knowing when to close their eyes, which direction to tilt their heads, aiming to hit that perfect angle, where their lips could meet in full, without dealing with the annoyances of noses. And it was how Lena always let out a breathy sigh through her nostrils and mouth when Alex's lips parted to capture hers.

It was routine, but it never failed to take their breath away.

Their intimate moment was disrupted by the feel of small arms that clung around their thighs, followed by a tiny head that pressed against their legs. They all were giggling as their little girl wanted to be part of their loving moment. The two shifted apart with more chuckles and smiles, not at all bothered by having been separated. Alex bent down to pick up Casey by the armpits, tossing her lightly up into the air, before she caught her and squeezed her tight against her chest; their faces pressed against each other with tightened face muscles caused by grinning cheekbones between them.

  


"Wrestle, mommy!"

  


And Alex never could say no. Lowering her child to the ground, Alex knelt beside her, planting her weight on her knees, waiting for the moment Casey rushes at her, trying to topple her down. Alex of course usually gives way, allowing her daughter to jostle her with ease as the girl forces Alex to curl downwards. Casey wraps her small arms around Alex's neck, clinging on just a little too tightly. Alex chokes a bit, but can't contain the laughter as her daughter yanks her down even more. Lena can't help but giggle at how easily her physically capable wife was brought down under three year-old Casey.

It was then that Kara snapped that photo.

  


"Everyone. Cheese!"

  


They all looked up in the direction of Kara's voice. A moment captured with the press of a button; one of unbound laughter, radiant smiles and love.

So much love.

But now, Alex lets out a heavy sigh, brings up the cold glass to her lips, allowing the amber liquid to pour into her mouth, burning a trail down her throat, warming her chest and filling her stomach.

The warmth of her chest...

Once upon a time, Lena kindled a fire there. Her heart raced, pounding loudly in its cage of bones, exuding a tingling feeling from her core that spread all over her body, lifting her, as if she were weightless. But now... Now she felt nothing.

Over the course of time, that magic disappeared.

Warm bodies still pressed close, familiar, soft arms embraced the other, and kisses fell from the same supple, half-chapped lips, but the magic behind them was gone. The routine remained. Their bodies just knew what to do when they were close. 

In bed, it was the way Alex would reach her arm across as they laid there, with Lena automatically folding into her, laying her head on that same spot just off of Alex's collarbone, as she tangled her leg over Alex's, using her ankle to nudge her wife's thigh closer, edging between her legs. Then came how Lena would grasp at Alex's shirt, fisting the fabric at her sternum, as if she was afraid to let go. Alex would instinctively move her free arm to lay her hand around Lena's fist, her fingers gently wrapping around that grouping of knuckles. It was the most intimate of settings, though only seemingly so, when viewed from the outside.

With hugs, it was the same way. From behind or in front, their bodies knew where to go. Their legs shifted out of habit to accommodate the other's. Their arms knew to where to land, and their heads tilted to their respective sides. But there were no longer any breathy sighs, or a feeling of relief in the hold. Sometimes there was even a thickness in the air, mixed with tension and sadness. It was a routine; all reminiscent of what used to be.

The kisses were no longer the same either. The passion and desire that usually took over, wanting to part their lips for their lover's tongue, to tease and taste that flavor that lingered on them, the insatiable need to just devour that supple flesh between their mouths... they were all gone. Left were the small pecks on lips or cheeks, more out of formality; a bare minimal way to say, 'I'm still here for you'.

Their hearts were no longer in it. Surprisingly, it was Alex that lost feeling first.

Lena tried, but the more she got close, the further Alex pulled away. It got to the point where their everyday became forced smiles and cordial small talk, mostly to discuss things that needed to be tackled for the day, but nothing more. Gone were the fun conversations. Gone was the interest of each other's days. Gone were the light touches. Gone was the want to be close to each other.

Now, there were more arguments, more disagreements, more... annoyances with each other. 

Over time, the two have grown distant. Pretending everything was alright, for the sake of their friends and family, and the sake of their child. They no longer slept in the same bed. There were no more casual hugs by the sink, the morning tackles, nor the evening cuddles on the couch. They had family dinners together though, opting to stay as friendly as possible together when Casey was around, but after their daughter went to bed, Lena retreated to her office, and Alex to her 'cave'.

  


* * *

  


It was the night before Halloween. Lena was out of town on a business trip, and Alex stayed at home with their daughter. Downstairs, Alex was cleaning up dinner when she heard several loud thumps coming from upstairs. Curious, she stopped what she was doing and went to check in on Casey.

  


"Case," Alex said, knocking on the door. "Babe, everything okay?"

  


After what sounded like an avalanche of items, Alex spared no time in entering. When she'd gotten in, she saw Casey standing a few feet away from the closet, with several large, green Tubberware containers on the ground, one of which had lost its lid as it toppled, and spilled its contents on the floor.

  


"Baby," Alex said as she rushed over. "Are you alright?" Alex knelt by her daughter, took her hands in her own and looked up at her with concern. "Casey, honey. What's wrong?"

"I was just looking for something," the little girl responded apologetically.

"You're not hurt, are you?"

  


Casey shook her head silently. Alex sighed in relief and tucked in a stray hair from the girl's face, behind her ear. She then looked around her to see the toppled items on the floor.

  


"Baby, you gotta be careful. These things could hurt you as they fell from such a high place."

  


Alex then began to pick up the littered items, inspecting them quietly as she held them. It was a box of Casey's old Halloween costumes that was once kept accessible, since she wanted to play dress up more than just once a year. Alex smiled at the memories. There was a set of pink, dainty butterfly wings, a bejewelled tiara, an old cowboy hat and the sheriff's badge that came with it, a SWAT officer uniform, toy guns, ballet slippers, and more. Alex saw the years fly by with each piece she held.

  


"Ohhhh, there it is!" Casey exclaimed, jetting past her mother to pick up a pirate hat, complete with sewed on, fake dark hair, and a large white feather that now bent over to the side. She picked it up and held it quietly in her hands. Alex then walked on her knees, wrapped her arms around Casey's stomach and placed her chin on her daughter's shoulder, looking over to see what she had found.

"My notorious little Captain Hook," Alex smiled with the memory. "You used to love dressing up like that. You'd force me to have sword fights with you every night before bed."

"You were Peter Pan. We had to," the girl said with a giggle.

"Were you looking to change your costume for tomorrow night? I thought you wanted to be Captain Marvel."

  


All of a sudden, the girl threw down the hat, stepped away from Alex and hopped on her bed. Confused, Alex followed and sat down beside her.

  


"Case, what'd I say wrong? I'm not angry. I know we took a while to find that superhero costume, but you can be anything you want."

  


Alex started smoothing her daughter's back as the girl laid on her side, hugging her giant bunny.

  


"Hon, what's going on?"

  


Concerned, Alex shifted closer and laid her hand on Casey's shoulder.

  


"You could talk about it, you know?”

  


After a moment of silence, Casey sat up and turned towards her mother, holding onto her flesh toned bunny, secured tightly into her body.

  


"We don't go trick-or-treating together anymore."

  


Smiling softly, Alex brushed her fingers along her daughter's face to shift the fallen hair out of the way.

  


"Baby, you wanted to go with your friends this year, as a group. Mrs. Nal and Mr. Dox were going to chaperone your group. You were so excited about it. Case, you don't have to if you don't want to. I can take you again this year if you want—"

"I want you and mommy to come together!"

  


Alex's body lowered with a heavy sigh. Her gaze dropped to her lap, eyeing the wedding ring that sat nearly meaningless on her finger. They haven't done trick-or-treating as a family for years. It was always one of them going out with their daughter, while the other stayed home to hand out treats. They supposedly went under the guise of having to work.

  


"We can ask mommy if she'd like to go, but, she's been out of town for the week, sweetie, and...she might be too tired to come out this year. Maybe next—"

"Are we still a family?"

  


The random jump in questioning took Alex by surprise, but the words stung. Alex's eyes immediately began to water as she pulled in her daughter tightly into her chest, and perhaps, a few trickles of tears made it into the girl's dark silky hair.

  


"Baby, of course we're a family. Why do you think that—"

  


The little girl mumbled into Alex's chest.

  


"You don't smile like you do when you see her anymore. Mommy doesn't laugh in the kitchen with you. It's....different. Like you're angry at each other all the time. I heard you fight the other night...."

  


Sniffling as she tried to keep herself together, she swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

  


"Your mommy and I are just dealing with a problem. It'll be okay. Sometimes big problems can make grown-ups unhappy, so we act that way. Especially if there's a problem only we can fix."

The little girl pulled away and smiled softly. "Okay...," she said meekly. "But you two are the smartest people I know. You'll figure it out, right mama?"

  


And that little voice full of hope nearly shattered Alex. Alex knew that out of everything she and Lena were battling with, the impact of it on Casey was what they were most afraid of. It seemed like their little girl had grown too fast, and is now more privy to her surroundings than she ever was. Now, it was something she and Lena would have to address. The thought of telling Casey that the latest argument dealt with divorce papers, almost killed her.

  


"We'll figure it out, baby...," Alex said softly. And, it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth Casey was hoping for either. However, Casey saw the light at the end of the tunnel and hopped off the bed to grab the pirate hat.

"Okay, and tomorrow, when you fixed it, we can all go trick-or-treating together! You can be Peter Pan again, and mommy can be Wendy!"

  


The excitement and grin plastered on her daughter's face, nearly ripped Alex's heart out of her chest.

  


"Case, I think it's time for bed. We'll talk to mommy in the morning when she gets home, okay?"

"Okay! Can I try to find the rest of my costume first and play dress up, then bed? Pleeeeease?"

  


Alex pressed her lips into a smile and nodded her head.

  


"I'll go clean up the rest of dinner, and when I get back, it's bedtime. Okay, young lady?"

"Kay!"

  


Alex then tip-toed past the scattered items on the ground, turning once to see Casey happily scouring the treasure trove of dress up items, before she pulled the door shut behind her. Once the door was closed, Alex made it down the stairs, back towards the dining room, and sat quietly at the table. She reached forward to grab the tumbler she had filled earlier that evening. She took it to her lips with a long pull and placed it quietly back onto the wooden surface. Alex then leaned forward, propped her elbows onto the table, and placed her head in her hands, wondering once more where it all went wrong...

  



End file.
